Where not why
by imalistener
Summary: "Don't tell me you love me just to make me feel better, I'd rather not hear it at all". "I do though, I do love you." "Why?" After Beca struggles to confess her feelings for Chloe, can she make it all better?


**So umm hi, this is my first story I've ever written, it was actually for a school assessment but I altered it a bit to fit Pitch Perfect. It's a bit AU I guess but i hope you enjoy it but if you don't, feel free to let me know either way. I hope I don't bore you and you like it. xx**

"Why?" The thought had consumed Beca's mind ever since Chloe said it to her. "Why?" one might ask? And there it is again. The word demanded an explanation. And that's why Beca was there; to give an explanation. She glanced towards the door then back to the key in her hand. A week ago, she would've just let herself into the house but now she tentatively clenched her fist and knocked lightly on the door.

Beca knew she was home; she could hear Chloe's movements inside probably tidying up the lounge room where pictures of the two of them were scattered around the room, on the mantelpiece and beside the bookshelf; the bookshelf they spent hours trying to put together.

Finally she opened the door. "Why are you here?" Chloe inquired expectantly before allowing the smudge on the top of her shoe to grasp her attention. There it was again, 'why'. Beca knew what she was anticipating and it broke her heart – however incomparable to the way she broke hers – as Chloe predicted that Beca would walk away from their relationship when a challenge arose.

"Not this time," she thought. "Never again," because for the first time in her life, Beca knew what she wanted and there it was; standing in front of her, waiting for her to speak. Confidence arose within Beca and she cautiously reached for Chloe's hand – feeling a great sense of relief when she didn't pull away – and she intertwined their fingers.

Still looking at her shoe, Beca glanced at their adjoined hands, squeezing slightly – for reassurance, not only for Chloe but also for herself. Chloe looked up again and it pained Beca to see her indifferent expression. "Why are you here?" Beca glanced at their adjoined hands and slowly spoke, "I'm sorry." She glanced up to see Chloe's still-stoic reaction almost beckoning her to continue, "I shouldn't have left, I should've stayed and we should've worked this out."

 _"Don't tell me you love me just to make me feel better, I'd rather not hear it at all"_

 _"I do though, I do love you"_

 _"Why?"_

Memories of their last conversation flooded Beca's mind, she had thought of little else for the past week. She looked down at the pavement underneath her feet, unable to look Chloe in the eye as she spoke; "I know you deserve better than me. You deserve someone who can give you everything you could possibly wish for and I'm not that." She watched as Chloe's facial expression softened and this time it was her who squeezed Beca's hand out of reassurance.

"You came all this way and you're standing on my doorstep just so you could talk badly about yourself." Beca could hear the smile in her voice and as she looked up, the curve of Chloe's lips slowly lifted into a smile – a smile that she had grown to love. "You could've done that in a bar." This time the smile reached her eyes and Beca saw the familiar twinkle that lit up her entire world.

Beca laughed possibly for the first time since the argument, no one could ever bring her more joy. "If I did go to a bar though I would end up calling you later on and you would've come and picked me up." The smile on Chloe's face slowly disappeared as Beca continued, "We'd be having this conversation tomorrow morning, you'd be angry and I'd have a raging hangover."

Astonished by the seriousness of her statement, Chloe let go of Beca's hand allowing her own to fall to her side, "B-but you haven't touched alcohol in five months."

"Good thing I didn't wait any longer and I came to see you today then."

Beca smiled slightly, looking into her eyes observing the minor reflection of herself; still trying to piece together the perfect words to close this distance between them. As Chloe went back to looking towards her shoes, Beca could see the sadness emanating from her eyes but she also could see the undeniable speck of hope she had about the two of them together. Reaching once again for her hand, Beca tried to piece together an answer to her question, 'why do I love her?'

Chloe glanced up when Beca - once again - reached for her hand only to see her deep in thought, having an inner battle with herself; "What are you thinking about?" Chloe enquired hesitantly, wondering if after the events of the past week, did she even want to know his answer. "It's nothing important, just a billion thoughts at once," Beca smiled sheepishly

"Well would you like to come inside and we can continuing talking," she smirked before continuing, "or we can stand out here deep in thought." Beca laughed before moving to follow her inside only walking a few paces before pictures of the two of them came into view.

She smiled as she easily recalled each memory that accompanied each photo; the picture of Chloe on a picnic rug under a tree – she twisted her ankle trying to climb the hill and wouldn't accept Beca's invitation for help help afterwards – and the picture of them on their first date – Beca had taken her bowling and she was profoundly good however she never gloated.

Beca glanced down the hallway to where Chloe was in the kitchen, putting water in the jug and turning the kettle before reaching for the jar of biscuits she kept in the cupboard on top of the microwave.

Beca smiled at how the little things Chloe did, she found so captivating; every moment she shared with her was a perfect memory. It was then that she realised that in observing her, Beca had found what she needed to say; finally recognising all the reasons as to why she loved Chloe. Her smile that she longed to see everyday and hoped to see everyday for the rest of her life and the twinkle in Chloe's eye that lit up Beca's entire world; she was her entire world. The joy that she was in her life and the way she made her want to be better.

Walking slowly towards the kitchen, not taking her eyes off her as she continued bustling around the kitchen, Beca leant against the doorway before speaking; "You asked me to tell you why I loved you but 'why' isn't the real question." A look of confusion slowly spread across Chloe's face as she turned around to face her while Beca smiled and simply stated, "The real question is 'where.' Where do I begin?"


End file.
